Everyday little things

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The Enchanting Trains

There is something magical about train journeys. The charm starts from the railway station itself. The moment you step inside a railway platform, you are ushered to the concept of secular India. You will find people from all walks of lives, all religions, caste and creed waiting patiently on platforms. Some sipping tea, some listening to music, some talking loudly on phone and some simply absorbed in their meditations. Some rich, some poor, some upper middle class, some lower upper class.

Some coolies dressed in smart red attire, carrying name tags and tons of luggage with ease, sharing useful information with anyone in need. Sometimes within minutes, a crowd of ebullient people would gather and discuss the current political scenario, usually near a tea stall, sipping cups of hot sweet tea over a couple of rusk biscuits.

Now in times of uncertain pandemic situations, people are dutifully maintaining distance and masks which limit uncharted conversations. But behind the stoic silence of masked faces, you can find eyes searching and staring into some what familiar and some what faraway faces.

At times, the whole place is filled with excited chatter of children mixed with anxious cries of worried parents. But as soon as you are settled in your respective coaches and berths, the nervousness settles in and makes way for a relaxed long comfortable commute to your loving places.

I would love train journeys and as a kid there were innumerable fun games that me and my sis played while on our numerous trips from our home to our Didun’s bari, Nani’s house. I would really long to these long rides to my ancestral place. And from there, I think a sort of loyalty has seeped in to my attachment to the train adventure.

However, I envy those who sleep peacefully at train and busy stations and bus rides. And no matter, my love for train journeys I always resist an overnight ride because sleep is more precious to me than my day plans. But this time, my husband convinced me for an over night journey to a beloved destination with my two children and parents.

Sleep was definitely lost, but I gained a wholesome experience of Incredible India. As the train passed through the hilly terrain, the early morning rising Sun was all out in his Majestic glory. Crisscrossing in between dark tunnels, terraced fields and tea plantations, the train chook chooked away, swishing like a snake.

As the landscape change when we leave behind cities and cross miles in quick hours, we meet tinned roof houses, with mud walls in all colors and sizes. The houses have a small bamboo fenced courtyard and you are enthralled by beauty of its simplicity. The children of the village can be seen playing around a big tree and green paddy farms and ducks waddling in small ponds pass you by.

The flora changes from wild forests with dense bamboos to single straight lines of supari, coconut and banana trees. Looking at these simple sites gives you a sort of unexpected relief.

The muddy village pond and tinned roof houses, at a quick glance

The railway platforms in these quaint locations are neat and clean and almost exotic looking. The small railway cottages along side some big platforms, add to the mystique of your travel. In your dreams, perhaps you will revisit them and spend your time looking at trains traveling by with all its fascinating glory. Your tongue will linger for the taste of hot fresh poori- aloo bhaji prepared and served by smiling simple vendors at such platforms.

All in all, travel time will bring you closer towards Indian essence. The secular and social fabric of this great nation is strengthened by all its people, all regions, all cultures, all art forms. We cannot miss out on anyone or anything. Inclusion for all, growth for all is an inherent message of Indian railways.

This ethereal experience would remain etched eternally in my heart. Share your favorite train journey’s experiences.

My son learning about India from his grandfather

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Soaking in the Sun

Soaking in the bliss. The most wonderful aspect of winters is basking in the Sun, with a cup of coffee and peanuts by your side. Taking in the glowing warmth, a million other indescribable sounds and pleasing your eyes with mindless gazing.

Sun is the most positive affirmation on this Earth. When we feed our body on this marvelous energy, it sort of re-energizes and reboots our entire system.

There is so much that we take for granted. In lush green fields, or high rising buildings, Sun shine is must and mandatory for well being of every person, every natural or man made thing, every home.

But look at the indomitable human spirit, there are scientists or extraordinary humans living in higher up regions of latitude, with minimal or very little Sun. It is only because of sheer grit and determination that those people thrive. That brings to us fascinating insights to the human will. Anything is possible. Nothing is impossible. That is the only important thing. Human spirit is wonderful and the more I think of it , the more awesome I feel. There are infinite incredible unexplored possibilities for all of us. We can all be divine!

Over some decades, there was technological advancement, but human spirit was depraved. In all walks of life, in all professions some murky attitudes had lurked in. Dishonesty, jealousy, greed. Every day the Sun rises, it is an opportunity for us to begin a fresh start. To embrace positive attitudes. To make sense of our senseless existence. To survive the dark night and wait for the day to shine through, just like the Sun.

To be persistent in our struggles. Just like the Sun. Once or twice, dark clouds might cause us to falter, but let’s never fall and let’s shine again. The shine might be weaker at some days, but still shine through. The nights might get longer, but still work through. We will all ultimately succeed.

Sending positive affirmations to anyone and everyone. Aum Shanti! Shanti! Shanti!

Lazy day bonaza

Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

Hustle is ain’t just a new word. It is synonymous with the new buzz of life. The new instagram reel culture makes whatever little you make of your life seem useless. Work, hustle, looking awesome, partying hard, sustainability, tiffin ideas, events to cater. Anything you can imagine is there. Occurring at break Neck speeds with ultrafine precision. We are ofcourse watching the filtered clean version of other people’s lives and dissing our raw emotions.

But all the chores and routines and timed activities, leave no time for relaxation. Watching content is yet another ardous task that consumes the complexities of my time and murders the neurons of my brain. Even if you believe you are idle, you are not. Shamelessly you spend hours scrolling over random topics.

So lazy days can become more unproductive if we give in to the sensation of our idiot screens/ i.e mobile phones. But if spent rolled up on a good coir mattress with a good dog eared book with sip of aromatic coffee and pleasant sounds of old school music filling the space. Your own personal space. No kids, no relatives, no small talk. Just own personal sanctuary, then you end up feeling refreshed, recharged and ready to take on what the world might throw at you. Bring it on.

Self love in my style

What have you been putting off doing? Why?

I am in my late 30s now. And middle age has seeped in. Slowing crow lines have marked my eyes and my smoky eyes looks is more of a necessity to hide my growing dark circles. I miss the youthfulness of skin, vitality of life, freedom of choices and absolutely no responsibility.

No children to feed and clean, no homeworks to complete, no groceries to shop, no houses that need repair and EMIs to pay. No gnawing health issues that need attention. No elderly parents to take them on their scheduled health visits.

There was a time, perhaps a decade ago when I could run, skip and hop freely. But you never know when it ends. You are always building towards the next big thing. I dreamt of a dreamy man, long wedding and beautiful family. I got it all. Not so dreamy though.

Now all my work days and holidays from start to finish are about keeping this family alive, fed, healthy and wealthy. They are my support, my cushion, my comfort, my nourishment. But just sometimes I wish for solitary confinement. Sometimes I long for a night in my childhood’s bed, with my journal besides me and my heart swaying to Maroon 5.

I can always take time out though. I can find my voice. Do stuff to help my own serotonin and dopamine levels. Build my own system.

I never come around to doing that. That is what I have been putting off. I don’t know when I will start. Or if ever I will start.

But just looking at my maid and my bed at the end of night is all I do for self care.

Slow and steady

Slow Unhurried walk through a broken road filled with pools of muddy puddle! The trees soaring, the baby greens roaring and the gentle rain tip-tapping on my umbrella. The soaked street is a myriad of colors. The yellow amaltas, the vibrant purple hues of Jamun and the lovely red petals of hibiscus. The jackfruit is yet to ripe and the trees are laden with the golden fruit! New shoots, new creepers abound and birds chatter from their hideouts. An occasional centipede earthworm or millipede cross my way and his gajgamini chall leaves me mesmerized!

My worries soak away and I get a spring of new life. My mundane thoughts are washed away and filled with vitality of new joy, new creation. The dark clouds somehow submerge my gloomy spirit and awaken an awe in me.

I recall the cosmic words of the great Blaise Pascal.

It is not from the space that I must seek my dignity, but from the government of my thought. I shall have no more if I possess worlds. By space the universe encompasses and swallows me up like an atom; by thought I comprehend the world.

This slow and steady approach soothes me. I have no races left to win. My motive is just to enjoy the journey of life and to not endure the existential existence. Such is a wonder of slow unhurried walk through a broken road filled with pools of muddy puddle!

School chalein hum…

Just before the D day this is the night I have to endure. A night of thunderous hail storms and frightening long lightnings. My inner mind exactly mirrors the turmoils of the weather outside.

A lot of big ticket things tomorrow. My boys start a fresh year at school tomorrow in less than 6 hours now. Well this idyllic holiday spring break was enough for their young minds to refresh and be ready for the next phase. They dont even have an iota of anxiety. New books or old. It doesnt bother them. Just positive anticipation. Thank God they take after their father. They have that Game face on.

I wish I could say the same about myself. Have I matured enough to watch my youngest enter his big classrooms. Kindergarten was over in a blink. He was back home before I got back from office and we would snuggle and nap and life was great. Is it going to get better. I sure do pray it is.

Your boys getting bigger and better and brighter should be a reason to celebrate. But it also bittersweet as a reminder that you wouldn’t get all their kisses, hugs and attention any more.

Also my dearest sis is appearing for an important examination. She is at an important juncture of her life and I am praying and hoping that it gets easier and convenient for her. God is great and has excellent plans. But we are mere mortals, aren’t we. She is highly distinguished and deserves a lot more accolades than her current position.

Her son is also beginning his first day of formal school tomorrow. He will be with his grand parents and gratitude for that. But we always worry na. Mere mortals.

Holi was last week and just like that a quarter of a year is over and I still weigh the same. Now I am heading off to the kitchen to do some stress eating.

Rainbow meets noises

Yesterday I was unwell and took a day off from work. The weather was very weary and the air was suffocating. My children are very young and just spend about 4 hours at school. The boys take a short nap post school and have other classes and activities to attend to later. Today since their mum was home so they relented and were made to leave for their tuition after a lot of requests and convincing. As they strode off, I opened my phone to scroll mindlessly, my head on my bed.

Less than a minute later hysterical sounds mammaaaa are heard from the road. They sound mischievous and mysterious, though excruciatingly loud. So by the tone of their voices, I am sure they couldn’t have been attacked by dogs or monkeys. I take my time to respond. My elder son is already at the door, knocking furiously and shouting at the top of his voice “Come quickly it’s a surprise”. I walk out actually dumb founded. My mind numb. My body hurting.

And there I see the most majestic rainbow out there. I cuddle my boys and we all share a moment below this infinite sky.

Winds teach you wisdom beyond the known. Moon tells you to glow when all alone. Fire reminds you of warmth all around. And sky begets you to stay calm.

Immediately all my pains and aches wither away. I look at the rain drenched earth. I look at the soaked land. I looked at my house. There was a slight drizzle almost an hour back. But I cannot believe my eyes at how glorious the things can be just after a short spell of showers. The fallen leaves, the soft breeze, the sweet fragrance of wet earth and the boys jumping up and down with excitement and happiness.

Sweet joy of simple things. Here we are, entangled in our mass of suspicions, and confusions and deliberations! Always thinking, brooding and frowning. Being judgemental. Being unkind and selfish.

And look at those children. Look at Mother Earth. Simple, sattvic and so soulful.

Knock, and he will open the door.

Vanish, and he will make you shine like the Sun.

Fall and he will raise you to the heavens.

Become nothing, and he will make you everything.
Rumi

Blessed is a house

Blessed is a house where dear granny spins her tales

Blessed is a house which rings with laughter of children

Blessed is a house filled with wisdom of golden age

Blessed is a house in whose courtyard children play

Blessed is a house filled with frolic of friends and family

Blessed is a house where friends gather to cheer and pray

Blessed is a house filled with sweet aromas coming from the kitchen

Blessed is a house with furry friends and singing birds

Blessed is a house where shade of an old tree falls

Every house is different

Every house has a story to share

Every house has a reason to celebrate

Every house reverberates

With the wholeness of the Universe.

And that my friends is the sweet mystery of life.

My children’s grandfather – the master storyteller

Small moments

Small moments of every day joy. Splish splashing in the showers

Small moments of laughter is all it takes. Small moments of acceptance, small moments of appreciation and small moments of gratitude.

Maybe I have finally managed to loosen up a little. Self help books have worked their magic and helped my life navigation skills a little. Or it could also be that my kids have grown up a little and started picking up after themselves. I am also blessed to have a great team and support staff , at both work as well as home front.

Truth be told, I do have so much more time on my hands now. Time to stare at small geometric patterns that abound in nature. Small coincidences around us. Small omnipresent miracles all day every day. Not one day is boring or routine. Every day comes with its own surprises, laughs and prayers. It is a life full of perceptions and illusions. Life of incidental miracles and magical moments.

Harmony in sound is music

Harmony in movement is dance

Harmony in mind is meditation

Harmony in life is celebration.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Maturity is knowing that a win or loss does not matter. Sooner or later, winners become losers and losers, winners. Life goes on like a river stream gushing forth. It keeps on flowing and ultimately merges with the infinite divine power of ocean.

I pray that we all keep overflowing with love, compassion, joy and selflessness. Aum peace peace peace…

My secret treasure

I have been blessed with the most precious thing on this earth. A sibling, a sister, a best friend for life.

She is 2.5 years younger than me. Her son is 3.5 years younger than my youngest. However her set of responsibilities and her challenges are bigger than me.

Still I complain to her with unabashed abandon. I go on venting about my microscopic issues and she has this whole gamut of proper responses to satisfy me.

In some way, I can say that she has always encouraged, sustained and nourished me. My silly fluctuations descend to guided stillness when I just talk to her. She understands and completes my gaps and silences that linger in my unventilated space.

Personally she has handled success and failure with equal elan. She has such a distinctive unique approach with each and every one that she makes it look so easy.

There are days when we don’t get to speak together for days. I treasure her. I miss her.

I hope our boys share the same sort of camaraderie that we do. Lots of love ❤ to you S. Prayers and blessings always.

Sat SRI Akal

The Martyrdom of the brave sons of Guru Govind Singh Ji

I am a bengali girl, who was brought up in the quiet peaceful city “The City Beautiful”. The city is known for its eloquent roundabouts, planned roads lined with tall Eucalyptus and luxuriant Peepal. It is a lovely city for people from all walks of lives living together. A friendly cosmpoloitan neighbourhood comprising of Himachali, Haryanvi and people from Bengal, Bihar and Uttar Pradesh. The vast majority was however, your jolly Sikhs from Punjab.

Our first landlord I remember was a sweet, kind hearted jat Sikh retired from Army, who would very fondly call my younger sister Kaddu (she was chubby!) and would enthral the entire gang of kids with his stories of valour from Maharaja Ranjit Sigh to Bhagat Singh to Indian Army. We, the children would sneak to our local gurdwara during Langar times, and enjoy the meals to our hearts delight.

There were regular greetings of Sat Sri Akal amongst us. And my very Bengali mommy who could not utter Hindi properly, let alone Punjabi, never felt awkward or out of place. Rather she recalls the warmth, kindness and graciousness of everyone who taught her sarson da saag and makki ki roti, gajar ka halwa and all other Punjabi cuisines!

I remember participating in Sikh processions and Prabhat –Pheris with my head covered and hands folded and partaking the Sweetest, most desi pure ghee densest halwa prasada ji, but I was mostly ignorant of such scale of magnanimous sacrifices of Sikh Gurus.

During my college MBBS days, two of my closest friends, would never fail to get up before 04.00 AM (Amrit Vela) in the morning, to say their prayers. It was done in a quiet unassuming way with no fuss ever created. They were kind, fun loving gals, but at the same time had a sort of self discipline and self regulation which was hard to miss.

So that was my first brush with Sikhism. I believe Hinduism, Sikhism, Jainism, etc is a way of life. A set of moral codes and ethics, a means of righteous conduct.

And so it was just a simplistiuc way of life where service/ seva and valour were two core principles. It is where duty towards your country, religion and people is worship of God.

I saw this movie Chaar Sahibzade by Harry Baweja first online, when I was looking for true tales of history, mythology, religion to inspire my boys, then 3 and 5 years of age. I was awestruck by the raw emotions portrayed so amazingly by animations. The true account of love, fearlessness, wisdom and bravery narrated so intricately by Om Puri moved me to pieces. For a large number of days, my hindi–bengali speaking boys will plead me to play ‘Gobind Ne Laal Pyaare’, sung so mellifluously by Sukhwinder Singh. Words cannot describe the timeless eternal valour of Sardar Zorawar Singh ji, Fateh Singh ji, Ajit Singh, Jujhar Singh.

I am too lowly a person to speak of their sacrifices. The character they displayed was immortal and would be remembered by generations to come. The movie is just a portrayal of the hard-core truth, of the spark of divinity, love and compassion present in all of us. The oneness of spirit. The death defying dedication to a pristine motto of religious freedom. The barbarism of fanatics. Each time I watch it with my boys now 7 and 5, we all hold our heads high, it enthuses me with vitality and vigour.

‘What is behind you; and what is ahead of you is nothing as compared to what is inside you.”

Ours is a great country, because such brave charismatic children were born here and how beautifully they embraced martyrdom. How smiling were those faces, how beaming were those eyes, grinning in the face of death. Sending a timeless message to all of us from beyond. That honesty, bravery and compassion always prevails. Chanting the holy –gurbani, naam kirtan are powerful sheaths in itself.

These heroic words of the tenth guru will always inspire us to fight against injustice, inhumanity, fanaticism and unholy practices, not only in India but around the world. Strength lies not in numbers, but in your will, your upright motto, your righteous mission, your dedication towards your duty.

“Chiriya te mai Baaz Ladawa, Sawa Lakh se ek Ladawa, Tabhi Gobind Singh naam kahawa ”

Sat SRI Akal

Those of you who have not read the story or seen the movie, please do research the martyrdom of 4 sons of Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Everyone must know this, irrespective of caste, creed, nationality or religion.

The Mughal king Aurangzeb was frustrated in his efforts to nab the tenth Sikh Guru Gobind Singh Ji. His motto was to terrorize and convert all Hindus to Muslim. Hence he ordered the arrest and murders of the younger children of the Guru Maharaj. The younger two were buried alive in a brick wall. And the two elder ones died heroically on the battle field. The chase, the process, entire story is very poignant and I request everyone to please find out. You will experience goosebumps, that is my guarantee.

It is my regret to have not visited those sacred shrines, where some important relics still exist and are revered. Maybe in future, I would.

Jungle safari

The forests are deep, impenetrable and intense. The guides walk you through the tell tale signs of beautiful beasts roaming around the swampy marshes. A pug mark here, a claw mark on the tree bark. Tree shapes that redefine geometry.

Forests is akin to a grand old uncle telling you about symbiosis and relationships and trust and life. Every time you go on a jeep safari, you feel as if have captured some tiny essence of this grand old man. There are stories in the footprints, in the shit, in the shadows.

The trees and creepers interlinked together and growing together for decades. An honorable old tree. A strong untold. A story that has to be felt, just like some subtle sightings. Some sightings which are just felt and not seen. Some calls that leave you thrilled. Some beautiful memories.

Jungle safari is my favorite way to spend a holiday. Hold tight, sit back and enjoy the bumpy ride through the sparkling woods where you see water so clean and sky so blue. The tall trees seem to reach the clouds and they all speak one language of mystery. One language of oneness, one language of honesty and patience and sublimation to the Ultimate.

I invite all nature lovers to come to Assam. It is a fast growing developing state. The unfortunate things about development is that it leaves little place for nature. Kaziranga is the most famous national park of Assam. It is also a World Heritage Site for one horned rhinoceros. Near 40 kms from there is a luxuriant Numaligarh residency/ town, golf course and a butterfly park. All constructed lavishly on an old elephant corridor!

So while you enjoy a beautiful luxurious comfortable stay, the animals find newer ways to coexist sometimes amicably hidden away, sometimes appearing with ferocity and anguish.

The other national park of great importance is Manas. Manas means man, a person metaphorically speaking it would mean the mind, the intellect, the consciousness of the person. It is in Baksha district of Assam, a comfortable distance from Guwahati. The entire forest boundary wall has high powered electric fences to stop these giants and beasts from penetrating into the precious tea estates. The forest is vast and the territory extends into Royal Manas National Park, Bhutan.

This week itself a majestic tiger strayed its way swimming across mighty Brahmaputra, to the Umananda temple, in the heart of old Guwahati city. The beast didn’t harm anyone. But I cannot think of the trauma and pain it will go through during the process of its Rehabilitation. Last week newspapers mentioned murders of 3 people by an angry misguided tusker, around 150 kms from Guwahati.

To see these magnificient animals in peace and quiet and thrill of jungle is truly the most refreshing experience. A jungle creates life, it grows life, it replenishes life and sustains it.

I sincerely hope that we as humans take accountability of the lives and suffering of these victims of development who have been left at the brink of devastation. Let them know that we care. Existence and sustenance together is the key to a happier life.

Redefine yourself

As the year is drawing to a close, I am very excited about how the next year of life will be. Will I be closer to the eternal truth. Will I find bliss?

As Covid draws to an end, there were innumerable lessons learnt from 2022. Loneliness, environmental maturity, parenting, technological advancements, India – China conflict and many more!

I hope to take all these lessons forward with me and find in me space and will to mature and exist positively, amicably with trust and admiration with people and nature all around me!

I am more calm, more conscious, more oriented, more relaxed, more prepared. I am blessed to be in better position. I am certain that life is beautiful, wonderful and is an enigma to be lived, cherished and celebrated in every way, each day! Each and every day of your life means more gratitude, more respect for all living and non living things around you.

There is no instant gratification, no instant joy! All things that go with instant are actually substances of eventual mortification. The transient happiness is transitory and unreal! That is just a bunch of dopamine chemicals getting us addicted further and further till point of no return! What needs to be there is a solid sense of contentment. A sense of profound peace and everlasting joy inside us!

I stayed away from writing for a very long time. Not because I was busy or lazy. But I was realizing that what other people write is so refreshing and so worth more importance, than what I manage to scribble. So I was reading some, watching some and it was pleasant for a while. But then I realized it is just about your expression. Your thoughts, your original raw feelings that needs to come alive on paper.

Originality is a lot of things, but it is not ideal all the time. It is raw, real, has anguish, and unfiltered chaos. It is finding meaning in meaningless chores. It can be ugly and menacing. It can also be a thing of beauty.

It can be ordinarily simple, not stunning extravagant words. Not a delicate prose delivery, but an ordinary mish mash of words. Not a consistent flow, but a true observations of different set of ideas, thoughts and emotions as they intrude our space.

My best endeavors would be to grow more physically, mentally and spiritually. To find more ways to keep my boys off the gadgets and technology. To find more ways to reduce stress inside. To not to be lazy. To be able to adapt to pace of life and stride towards not perfection, but satisfaction.

To be able to regulate my mind, my body, my breath and feel oneness with all!

Happy New Year to everyone. May this year bring peace, contentment, happiness, strength and satisfaction to each and every individual. May we all grow into better versions of ourselves.

Messi Mania, Messy Mum!

I am not an avid football fan. I am actually not much of a fan of any sport, as any other mommy in the whole wide world, I believe. We have to well rise above our own indulgences. And finding free time to sip coffee and read in peace, feels as close to heaven as it can be. I followed the world cup of the biggest game through newspapers and occasional tidbits some times!

I started my married life on the day of finals, 2014. My entire set of bong relatives were glued to the big television set in the lobby of the hotel. And there I was – a pretty, thin version of me in a red heavy dazzling lehenga. And look at me now! Another world cup, another jubilant finale and me a mom of two. My husband had special plans to watch it together ❤ with beer and instant Chinese food to go! But unfortunately the boys refused to be mellowed down to bed so early!

To add to all the merriment, it is my younger son’s birthday today, and I got delayed making some minor arrangements for his school distribution of chocolates, his outdoor clothes and small return gifts for his evening party.

🥳 🎉 The house was decked with balloons and decorations and before I could tuck it away to a safer spot, all my home was converted into a the Qatar football arena!

So after the tantalizing nail bitting finals, when all the fireworks had stopped, and when it was finally calm and quiet again. I got up and put things in order so that I need not have to wake up a minute early that what was already my busy Monday morning schedules!!

Many many congratulations to all Messi fans out there. And what a match it was! a true indomitable spirit! A fight back! A match to remember! A night to remember!

My dearest Anirudh turns 5 today! Please share your blessings with him.

Decisions…

We, as a family, are on threshold of something very important. At a very critical juncture.

Am I being too dramatic 🤔 ?

We are actually buying a new car. It is a big investment for us. A major money matter for us.

Our dear decade old car was beginning to disappoint us at times. She had supported us a lot. Ridden us to mighty mountain peaks and hot blazing desert 🏜! After years and months of repair and service, she was showing signs of definite aging.

We had been mentally calculating our budgets, trimming out the indulgences, going through bare minimums to save for a better car, for almost a year now. As we have two young children, safety features were paramount for us.

We were first venturing into buying a seven seater for our infrequent needs to make the grandparents comfortable with us on long adventure filled journeys. Both of us feel, that it is imperative for grandkids to be around grand parents. But the costs and future maintenance costs were totally spiraling out of our budgets. Spending way too much on car seems to be counter productive with so many cab apps and zoom car options nowadays. So we narrowed it down to five seater with good engine horsepower and safety. For our basic needs, in and around the city.

After we enrolled ourselves to visiting and inspecting so many showrooms and tiring ourselves by the incessant test drives, my husband has finally zeroed in on one. I am at peace. It fits in our budget.

My husband did most of the planning, scheduled all test rides,watched YouTube videos of various cars and models and did a lot of research. It wouldn’t have been possible without his meticulous methods. We owe him a lot of credit. I would just lose grasp of the thing after a couple of seconds and would excuse myself. This planning and deep discussion was just not my cup of tea. He has his friends as advisors, for such serious decisions and that works well for both of us.

But the problem started with delivery. Due to the ongoing war, there is de-escalation in growth of ? semi conductor chips! I am not sure, but something like that. And hence all deliveries were delayed by months and some even by half a year. We are still waiting for our new one!

After what happened to Cyrus Mistry, it is a moment of truth for all of us. Life is very fragile. He had the best car but you can just die anywhere anytime. That is probably why life should be spent in a more beautiful fulfilling way because every moment is precious.

Stop worrying. Things should not worry you anymore. Become light hearted and full of joy. As you do it, you encounter more meaningful coincidences in your life, more and more synchronicity. And it accelerates to the point where you actually experience the miraculous. That is manifestation.

Anticipation, excitement and exaltation! Isn’t this what life is all about.

I have a lot of patience and profound trust in God’s plan. Something great is coming up. Something that we will cherish for the rest of our lives.

Happy Autumn to everyone.

Happy festive season to everyone!

Happy Navratri, Pongal and Durga Puja to all my Indian brothers and sisters.

Manifest positive thoughts

As the tiresome day ends
The fog rolls by
The winds whisper 
And remind you to
Say your gratitude 
To those who mean the most.

As you lie on your bed 
And close your eyes
Beneath the dark skies
And shining stars
And you thank Thee
For the calmness they bestow.

And in the morning 
Chirping birds and morning dew
Sing afresh a song so new
And you count your blessings.

And far away 
Where a waterfall falls
Fair and tall
And rainbow meets the pristine sky

And all the mysteries of the world 
With the deep secrets underneath 
All have a purpose, they serve.

Amidst all calmness and chaos
Amidst all true beauty and false farce
I close my eyes, take a deep breath and thank Thee!

Frustrations of parenting!

I am not a natural homemaker. 😒 I get all upset when I see these excellent influencers on Instagram or YouTube putting these fabulous videos, making it all look so simple. Feeding their children veggies. Doing fun activities and looking so glam and so chill about it. I know it is tons of hardwork, patience and years of practice for them and I have no sensible reason to be mortified.

Everyone has a different skill set, different aspirations and different circumstances. But still….

How on earth do they find time to record, post and then respond to all the social courteously to all media handles. 🤔 The only time once when I tried to use phone during my spare time in loo, I ended up dropping it there and it was a big disaster.

I love that mothers nowadays are so talented and ready to share all they know with noobies like me, but it is overwhelming. I feel guilty in my heart that I do not try enough. It breaks my heart when my child easily catches cold when the weather suddenly changes. It is infuriating for me to find them addictive to unhealthy items, and not take a liking to the daily homely items.

I understand that for kids now variety is the key, but should that be so paramount? I wish times were simpler and easier. As material things have become easier and convenient and economical, time on the other has become so costly.

I love my kids. But the kids of social media are so full of etiquette and right mannerisms, that they put my babies to shame. These other children are not advertisements, that we can discard as fake or tutored. There are no fake filters of behaviors. My boys look like obnoxious mean devils 😈 in front of them. But they will get there, slowly or atleast that’s the hope.

I am not much of a disciplinarian either.And I love being idle, I guess. I have so many flaws that sometimes I feel I am letting everyone down. But I try and recharge myself and try my best every day. Even if I have no practical skills, I try to have an everyday attitude of courage, frankness and good cheer.

Even if it seems that I am losing control, I pray for positive reinforcements. Sooner or later, I will get the hang of it. Sooner or later, I will devise ways to deal with with their deliberate manipulations. Sooner or later, my kids will be happy and content with whatever little they have.

I had the blues because I had no shoes, Until upon the street I met a man who had no feet.

Nevertheless, I love these evergreen courageous mommies. They say, mothers always know what is right for their children. I may not know it all the time. But I know that in my heart I am sincerely trying. My utmost priority is that my children learn to have gratitude, learn to brave hardships, survive the struggle and appreciate the beauty that is life.

The educational and competitive criteria now are insane. I don’t know how they are practical or realistic. The constant academics of logical reasoning and analytical thinking are beyond me! Is there a science behind the level of activities and hours of homework that we get. After all, science is a collection of successful recipes. Is it not? Schools and their stress is maddening.

I know this parenting rant is agonizing! I hope I get strength to not dwell on my flaws. I hope I continue to learn from this amazing community. I pray that God watches over all of us, especially all our kids and keeps them safe and helps them cultivate good values and morals.

What is your take on parenting? Do most of you found it natural and instinctive. Or do you consciously work on it ? Do you also compare and worry yourself to death?

Or are we all flawsome yet awesome?

Sickness Strategy

I have been having a hard couple of weeks. First I got sick, took barely no off and carried on. But now my children are sick. And that becomes very exhausting!

I need high octane energy to drive myself, to feed them and to wipe their noses and put them to bed.

Also, myself and my husband always get into small trifles and fights when my boys are sick. I try and be as patient as I can. But sometimes, I fall short.

Sometimes, I want to curl up on the sofa and just binge watch a tacky show or read a good book. My husband also definitely needs a break.

Our motivation mantra has been this. We are relentless in our pursuits. We will overcome all obstacles. We are fighting fit. We are children of God. And no harm will ever fall upon us.

Good day to everyone.

Musings..

Sunday morning musings.

Yet, children remain exuberant and boisterous.

When the heartless Sun has sullied all your adult spirit and the humid stiff air has suffocated your adult desires.

It leads me to ponder – were we all this dexterous to begin with? and slowly over the years as we accumulated more wisdom and poise, we lost out on our resilience.

As adults, we get busy scheduling joy into our lives, whereas the children live in an ever joyous state!

We do not want them to waste time. We want our children to value time, study hard and compete in this complex world.

For them time is priceless and spending time in rain or shine, with friends or foes is what counts.

Life is made of simple joys like spoiling clothes and a box of toys.

We dream of buying plots and cars, they are happy to build blocks and have fake wars.

We strive to secure a future so great.

But present becomes a misery, and then it gets too late.

Should we all not learn a lesson or two. Learn from our kids, rather than telling them what to do.

We call them vulnerable and immature, and still they are are the only ones who enjoy the precious gift called life and for the moment, they care.

Candid Conversations

Me and my better half are busy working parents and when we end up talking, it is usually to discuss chores, or timelines or stuff about boys or rarely office. It seems as if the time has just drowned in the din of the day. He is currently away on a work trip. And I miss him. 😢

Who else misses spirited conversations or few nice genuine people to interact with. Or is it just me!

Don’t get me wrong. I am not a party person or someone who enjoys going out and dressing up for it! I am supremely lazy for that chore! Nevertheless I do enjoy having meaningful relaxing conversations.

I do realize that- it is wrong. One must be happy and content with what you have on the inside. But that is one luxury that I really wish for. Once you grow up and change cities, it becomes really hard to find and make friends again. I am in touch with my college besties, but now that we all are busy mothers with working lives, it is really a task to just stay in touch.

I have a difficult time just nodding endlessly to same material based conversations that one comes across at workplace, parties, parks or gym. I sigh inwards and put a pretend smile outwards.

I am not saying that I am very bright for everyone around me. Rather, it is just the opposite. I am pretty dumb regarding most basic things in life. For instance, I am not very good or adventurous in cooking. My home decor skills are nonexistential. My makeup skills are negative. I have zero interest in property, car or discussing or worrying about children’s future. I am not very good at conflict resolution. Gossips disgust me. My small talks are screwed!

When you invite clown into your home/ palace, he doesn’t become the king. Your home becomes the circus. So be careful, whom you invite into home.
Anonymous

I find looking at scenery much more fascinating. A blooming red jaba flower plant in an overgrown garden, a kind looking dog, an old peepal tree trunk with its magnificent branches reaching up to the sky, sweet roses with thorns, green fresh trees against the dark grey sky, some birds flying nowhere.

When we walk close to nature, we come to a better understanding of life; for, it is from natural world that we first emerged and to which we still belong.
Ruskin Bond

I sort of live with the philosophy of God determining all my actions. Sometimes, although very rarely, terrible things do happen so that I may learn a valuable lesson. It is all a part of his plan. I just need to give my best every day.

The warmth of summer is sweetened by the bitter cold of winter.

Que Sara Sara Whatever will be will be, the future is not for us to see.

Insist on yourself, never imitate.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wait for my boys to leave for school and enjoy my coffee with a book by my side. And that solitude is serene and so perfect. But sometimes, just sometimes I wish to chat with someone who enjoys the same things that I do. I miss that someone who can understand your silence.

P.S. – My husband has gone away for a work trip. Dear husband, I miss you. Please come back soon.

A failed adventure?

On my Twitter timeline someone some where mentioned a remarkable book of this century – Scott Adam’s How to succeed after failing for 1000 times. The book is about non-conventional ideas 💡 of success.

I got interested as I am a genuine fan of his comic strip -Dilbert and I look forward to reading it in the newspaper every day.

Now coming to the point. 👉

We had a long awaited trip planned to Shillong, Cherrapunji and other exotic exquisite locations. After a period of rigorous training, and tenous summer we were all very excited about this. And were really looking forward to it. Bookings were done well in advance. We had an elaborate itinerary planned researching meticulously from various travel blogs and YouTube videos. We were depending on the blessings of the weather God for a beautiful experience.

Meghalaya was called such ‘ Abode of clouds’ by Nobel awardee Shri Rabindra Nath Tagore. The mystical clouds floating across the dense bamboo, supari trees lined highway give you an immense feeling of going away to an enchanted place. Perhaps a meditative trip for some. But myself and my children had been reading Harry Potter over the summer holidays and Hogwarts is where we thought we were going. Our hotel was no less than a castle. And magic was just about to begun. Or so we thought.

Man proposes God disposes!

Cherrapunji is famous for it’s magnificent water falls and we went to one such longest waterfall. The luscious fall, the streams of diamond 💎 water petals splashing across your face, the clouds fleeting across alternatively with the pleasant Sun. The sound of pristine flowing water, the chattering of loud lucid insects, over looking vast panoramic view of Bangladesh and no other buildings or hotels in sight. No modern architecture around Kym-rein falls to disturb the natural scenery. We could only bow at the enormity of the cascading water falls. The scene was even more picturesque with dark clouds ☁️ surrounding the top most hill.

Only two man-made structures were here in this natural abode. One, this beautiful man made road that brought us to this heaven.

And secondly, our most trusted man made companion. Our family car. This car was one of the first purchases that we as a couple did, and were extremely proud of it. We had a lot of cherished memories with our prized possession. It had taken us to the cold towering peaks of Ranikhet and arid dry areas of Jodhpur. It had been handled with love and care for a decade now. There were minor issues here and there. But it was family. And you forgive such tiny mistakes in family.

We were all taken aback when it suddenly stopped. It came to an abrupt end in the middle of nowhere. Truly nowhere.

This is how it happened. We were all coming back happy and excited from our exhilarating view of the falls. Next stop was caves. And then lunch.

Yet, in the middle of nowhere, the car broke down. It gave up on us. We tried and remedied and nice driver bhaiyas of other cars stopped by to help. But..No more dhakkas or anything else would do. No Ford repair mechanics or engineer were present in nearby 300 kms. Only tow to Shillong or Guwahati remained a last working feasible option. After being utterly dejected for 3 -3.5 hours, the logistics were worked out. All this was even more difficult, because the mobile signals were fleeting and only Airtel out of the 4 other mobile 📱 signals we had was available for call, only call..not internet connectivity.

But in all this hell, there was a silver lining…

Our car had stopped at a beautiful location. It was still noon time when we had this unexpected halt. A village Lattireyi was just a kilometer away from where our car had stopped. It had a small tuck shop for our tea, chips and water based needs. The kids thankfully slept through half that time and were as cooperative in the other half as you could expect a 6 and a 4 year old to be. The quiet village atmosphere, a running nala and nice weather with no Sun or rain and just heavenly clouds were perfect. Had it rained, we would all have been miserably holed up in the car or below our umbrellas. Had it been hot and humid, again we would have been uncomfortable and possibly nauseous. But by grace of God Almighty, we were comfortable.

There is a lot of beauty in ordinary things. There is no greatness where there is no simplicity, goodness and truth.
Leo Tolstoy

It was a day where we learnt that such small incidents can happen at any time of the day with all prior precautions and planning. And the best you can do is be calm, keep faith and look for next more suitable options.

I am not very sound on technical matters, but it was something to do with the diesel injector, which as we read now is something that quite commonly happens to diesel cars after long standing.

To put it in a simpler perspective, the car had stood in the garage for a period of 70 days during our training session in some other city. After coming back, a full detailed service and a lot of other changes like battery etc were changed as required and mentioned by specialists. We had given full attention to get it prepared for this coming trip. But these things still happen! Again, I am no technical expert.

Neither is this a travel blog. It is a blog about faith in God, his circumstances and his people. When we stopped in the middle of nowhere, we had no idea that all cars would stop by and heartily enquire and help. The fundamental human spirit of compassion came together. This encounter reminded me that rather than visiting more touristy places, it is more important to imbibe value of courage and patience in your children. Rather than enjoying pleasurable situations only, they should be able to attend to difficult situations with similar calm and composure. They should be able to enjoy and find meaning in these coincidences and be more synchronous with inner human spirit.

Some old fashioned things like fresh air and sunshine are hard to beat. –
Laura Ingalis Wilder.

The best part of our day was when my children sitting in a humble taxi got excited about the rotating head showpiece on the car’s dash board. We saw a magnificent rainbow 🌈 on our way back. My youngest was so happy with that, he couldn’t stop talking about it. Although we were tired and worried for added and uncertain expenses and situations, but our hearts were full of joy due to experiencing such varied challenges and emotions on a single day.

Yesterday is just a memory, tomorrow is never what it is supposed to be.
Bob Dylan

So living in the present is what it needs to be. There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment, every failure and remember time waits for no one.

So in short, for me despite its shortcomings the trip was awesome. The next day of the trip was spent in multiple visits to workshops and incessant worrying. But it was an experience in itself. Our main goal was to reach our home sweet home with the car and that we all did – safe and sound. 🏡

Coming back to the point. 👉

The real secret of success is enthusiasm. Success is not built on success. It is built on failure, frustration and sometimes even catastrophe. Your positive action combined with positive thinking results in success.

The trip was a success! Yes, it was filled with uncertainties and poor circumstances, if you call them so. But it brought the foremost human values forth. It taught me that- courage, hope, conviction are the strongest qualities that one must have to feel cheerful in any situation, any day!

Happiness is a matter of temperament, rather than circumstance. It is upon a person’s power of holding fast to such undimmed beauty that his inner hopefulness depends.
Ruskin Bond

Non – Mundane life ?

Life is never mundane. It is Ubuntu. We are all connected, interrelated and intertwined together. We have accepted the war and nonsense destruction in Ukraine. The world has a turned a blind eye to the ruthless carnage of Afghanistan. The heat 🔥 is soaring in North India and in some places, in East and South India the rain is unrelentingly unpardonable.

And yet sometimes, curled in your bed you are far removed from all the apparent realities and you make your own palaces in your dream like state. You need nothing to dream. You can be rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, fat or thin, tall or short but in your dreams you can become anything. 😉

The thing is there is no firm line between our dreams and awake state. Only if we dream of higher hopes and beautiful places, we’ll be motivated to reach higher destinations in our awake state. So our awareness in a sense is always there. And every waking or dreaming state should work towards generating a higher positive affirmations and awareness.